I recently had breakfast with one of my former principals and we spent our time reminiscing about our school community. We both agreed that it was a truly special experience we had. A moment in time that is seems impossible to recreate.
One thing we did as a staff is regularly hold circle meetings. More often than not, the principal would have to remind us when we were giving affirmations, or shout outs, to limit ourselves to saying just one thing because time is finite. Inevitably, one, or all of us, would break the protocol because we had too many good things to say about our colleagues.
While these circles weren’t exactly ice breakers they were meant to help us build our community. As my principal and I reminisced we talked about how ice breakers are reviled by so many, while we loved our circles. Several of my friends tell me how they feel they are a waste of time. But they also teach in different contexts, ones where meetings themselves are a waste of time.
I used to think this was a chicken-or-the-egg kind of question: did people hate ice breakers because the meetings were so bad or were the meetings so bad because people needed more community building? I’ve come to believe that it’s the former. If the meetings are really bad there are probably other parts of the school culture that aren’t working so well. And you can’t ice breaker your way out of a toxic school culture.
When I think about going back to work at a single school site, I wonder if it really is better to have loved and lost than never to have loved, because it sure makes it hard to accept working anywhere else.
8 responses to “A moment in time”
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I guess ice breakers have their place and purpose. Being kind of quiet I was not a big fan of them, yet once we got into them I did enjoy them. I think it is a means of making people feel comfortable with others in the room thus opening the door to more meaningful discussions within the group.
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“And you can’t ice breaker your way out of a toxic school culture.” Boy, that say it all! It is leadership that makes an invaluable difference in the formation of true community. I love that you had that with your colleagues—always better to know how good it can be.
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Leadership makes such a difference! I think you’re right that it’s better to know–we can know what we’re looking for. It’s just so hard when that same experience is so elusive.
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Ice breakers that are random leave me cold. Trust is one of the first lines of building community. Ice breakers that start with sharing in a smaller group or partnership is a way to intentionally build the community.
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Agree–trust is key! A random ice breaker is not enough to build genuine trust.
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Vivian,
I’m trying to recall a time when I was working in a school w/ a staff that completely felled. I taught 38 years and can’t think of a time when the school community felt like a community. There were times I felt that way in my department, however. The icebreakers and group work during meetings almost always felt like a waste of time.
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