One of the biggest regrets I’ve had in life is not taking Spanish as a foreign language.

When it came time to choose a foreign language to study in high school, I chose French. My stepmom suggested I study Mandarin or Spanish, but I refused. Mandarin would be too difficult. I could barely remember, from one week to the next, how to write my name in Chinese characters the semester I was forced to go to Saturday Chinese school as an 8th grader. But an even more important reason was that I didn’t want to acknowledge that part of my identity. Assimilation was the goal.

Why didn’t I take Spanish? In elementary and middle school, my best friend’s mom and Tere, my friend’s abuelita, would speak to me in Spanish regardless of whether or not I knew what they were saying. (Side note: my friend called her grandmother Tere, which was her first name. For years I thought Tere meant grandmother.) Her mom would take us on errands to the Mexican market or to other places where everyone spoke Spanish and all the signs were in Spanish. I developed my acento español by reading the signs out loud as requested by Margarita, my friend’s mom. She thought it was so funny to see someone that looked like me sound like someone who looked like her.

So why didn’t I take Spanish? The real reason I think is (whispers) white supremacy. In my high school brain, French was fancy; it was elevated, elite. Spanish not so much. Of course, now I understand how terrible that view was. As an educator, there isn’t a week that goes by when knowing Spanish would help me connect with a student or family. Over the years, my students and colleagues have taught me words and phrases. And I did pick some up as child. Although most of those aren’t’ ones I can use in a school setting. (Margarita liked to use some colorful language.) I still have dreams that I will learn how to speak it fluently one day.

I do have one thing going for me and that’s my accent that was developed so many years ago. A while back, when I was working in an out-of-classroom position, I was tasked with making a robo-call to families. It was after school and everyone who could do the call in Spanish had already gone home. I decided that I would practice the translation and do it myself. A Spanish-speaking student was in the office at the time I was doing the call. She insisted she be allowed to listen in. When I was finished, she beamed, “Miss, you sound Mexican!” It was one of the greatest compliments I had ever gotten.